Love Cursed's topics - tribe.net

if tribe tanks

gigi-d — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 02:00:58 GMT

http://triberefugees.ning.com/

posted in Love Cursed - 1 reply

why does it hurt so much to be cheated on?

poopylungstuffing — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 03:08:12 GMT

I found out recently that my boyfriend of almost 5 years had been having an affair of several months with this nasty parasite teenager (she just turned 20)...she was born when I was in jr. high...and my boyfiend is 6 years older than me.....

it seems tht everything ends up being twisted around to being my fault...it is my fault that I am monogamous...it is my fault because i left him for a few months last year (his philandering was partially a reason..)
We are trying to work things out....we run a venue together.....I found out on October 23..I have tried leaving...but we are too wrapped up in the venue we run together....leaving would be very complicated. My emotions are shot and I have too much crap to sift through...I did aquire my own apartment...but I still live with him......

.I don;t like the fact that I was lied to for several months...recently (tonight)I found out that it had been going on for possibly 2 months longer than I thought.....it is being denied...but how do I believe someone who has constantly lied to me?

I feel like shit...I can't stop feeling stressed out and feeling like shit...and like it is my fault for being a defective person.....

I wish it did not hurt so much......I wish I knew what to do...of course the obvious is to dump the bastard and move on with my life...but...it is more complicated than I know what to do with........

Any advice on how to stop feeling like shit?

posted in Love Cursed - 24 replies

Why that does it!

QueenEofPie — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 23:04:56 GMT

I am ready, bring it on!

:)

posted in Love Cursed - 15 replies

The real Curse

QueenEofPie — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 03:10:27 GMT

Is allowing the hurt you have experienced in the past make you hide yourself and your heart away. Of thinking it is easier to be alone than to actually allow anyone close. The real curse is being afraid.

sigh

posted in Love Cursed - 14 replies

No Big Deal

geo — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 15:51:45 GMT

I think that's my new mantra.

I find that things tend to go awry whenever anyone makes a big deal out of something. Because, when something becomes a "big deal" then it becomes a matter of survival, and all sorts of defense mechanisms come into play. When survival is at stake, then rhe waters get muddied and nothing is clear.

So, whenever anything goes the way I don't want it to go, I just say "no big deal" and I find clarity.

posted in Love Cursed - 4 replies

Nice, but unwanted suits

geo — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 22:36:12 GMT

I have a couple of suits that are very nice, but just not my color.

posted in Love Cursed - 8 replies

nice but unwanted suitors

theApostate — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 23:54:26 GMT

*sigh*

the guilt!!!

he is so nice, sweet, such a gentleman... and can be such a best friend...
and a sex freak too, i can tell...
BUT!!!
the way he looks just doesn't turn me on at all, it is just repulsive...

it is funny how, one "minor" thing can blow up one's chances.....
i know looks aren't supposed to matter, but....

what am i to say to him... i can't say "I'm not attracted to Frankenstein's"....

how do i deal with this...

a.) astrological babble - "dude, u gotta take care of your Chiron (wounds) in 1st house (appearance)"

b.) shop with him (ugh!!! would create a stronger bond with him, make me feel like an actual girlfriend, which is the last thing i want...)

etc...

i am heavily attracted to another man who is much older, but way less of a gentleman and a sweet heart than he...... but i prefer the latter's company and twisted love, even though he's not very handsome... hey actually the older guy did follow my advice, on what to wear, etc..... so i guess he passed... (but that's not all, of course.)

...

posted in Love Cursed - 32 replies

knows the meaning of committment

vendettajones — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 18:25:26 GMT

http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/

posted in Love Cursed - 1 reply

aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!

twilightening — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 19:11:02 GMT

aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!
aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!
aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!
aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!

posted in Love Cursed - 19 replies

ooka ala ooloo

lovecursed — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 09:59:01 GMT

means i love you.

posted in Love Cursed - 9 replies

Over Before it Begins?

SkylarkingSLP — Sat, 31 May 2008 15:00:26 GMT

I've spent the past four years being single. There were times when I was saddened by it, but for the most part, I was content with my existence. Sure, I had resigned myself to being the "cat lady" or perhaps traveling the world throughout my life and taking a foreign lover here and there. I sure as hell wasn't motivated to go on the hunt for a mate...too much trouble.

During my April break from work, I decided it was high time I visited my college friend Mary in New Orleans. It had been 6 years since I last saw her at her wedding and we had tons of catching up to do. While I was there, her hubby and I got into a discussion about my sorry single state, and since he just had his 20 year high school reunion, he started to think about possible contenders. One name came to his mind and I was directed to his webpage. Upon first glance, he was certainly not my type, but there was something about him that made me want to connect. So I shot him a quick e-mail and I received one in return the next day. We wrote back and forth for a few days before we decided to move to the phone. He called at 7:30 on a Friday night...and I kid you not...we were on until 4:30 that morning. the next day, he booked a trip to NY for my birthday celebration the following weekend...

It was certainly a nerve wracking moment when the doorbell rang and I knew who was on the other side. Would I find him attractive in person? Would there be any chemistry at all? Luckily, all went well. He spent two days with me, met all my friends and even met Mom. He went back home and we continued to talk everyday for hours until he traveled back to me last weekend. Once again, things were awesome. A great guy and everything I never knew I always wanted...

Now, I know long distance relationships are crazy, but as far as he was concerned, it would only be for a year or so before he would make the move to NY. He found who he had been looking for all these years, and I feel the same way. I can honestly see spending my life with this man. Long ago, I made a list of things I wanted and didn't want in a mate, and as if he was tailor made for me, every "pro" box was checked...

But his problem is the need for immediate gratification. He misses me and hates it and when his thoughts travel down that route, he begins to get negative and think that this is an impossible situation and perhaps we should jump ship. In my view, it's certianly not so. Difficult? Yes. But not impossible. We have both waited this long to find each other...what's another year apart when it could mean a lifetime together?

I'm planning on getting out to him in July when my work schedule is lighter and he's very excited about introducing me to his family and friends, but instead of focusing on the good and the time we will have in each other's company, he is already thinking about missing me when I leave. I mean...Jeez! Enjoy the moment or they will pass you by.

So, I really don't know where things will go from here. I know he'll come back around and things will be hunky dory...until the next time he has a freak attack. Can I keep doing this throughout the next however long? Trying to talk him down from the ledge, so to speak? I kinda think I shouldn't have to...that he needs to go through these phases on his own, know I'm there if he needs to vent, but other than that, why should I sell him on this relationship? As far as I'm concerned...if it is meant to be, then it will be.

Am I crazy to have hope here or to feel it is worth the effort?

posted in Love Cursed - 5 replies

Breaking up.

daMongolian — Thu, 22 May 2008 19:58:41 GMT

When you dump someone, out of the blue with no prior indication that you were unhappy with things. Without giving them any chance whatsoever to rectify the situation or make any changes; You send them this message: A relationship with you, is one not worth working to keep.

That's been bugging me for awhile now, and I just needed to tell someone.

(and yes, it's happened to me, twice in fact. =( )

posted in Love Cursed - 8 replies

Deja vu

CatherinetheGreat — Tue, 06 May 2008 22:23:20 GMT

Have you ever maintained a friendship with a former lover, and then watched them get involved with someone else, onlly to say the exact same things about that someone else that they used to say about you? It's almost as if the "you" you thought you were has been replaced - or maybe never was?

I guess this just points out to me that everything is subjective. The only thing you can be certain about or can control is how you feel about you. Other people might once in a while flatter you or say nice things or discover something wonderful in you, but when they turn away, does that mean you are less wonderful? It can't really mean that.

I guess I'm just blathering here, or probably saying something fundamental that everyone else already understands, but I guess I needed to see it in this facet to get it.

posted in Love Cursed - 3 replies

introduce yourself here

lovecursed — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 01:28:12 GMT

it's been a while since we have done this.
so in the words of that hookah smoking caterpillar...
who.. are... you? :)
also, why did you join this tribe?
& do you think you are love cursed?
ty
x

posted in Love Cursed - 26 replies

confused and saddened (no closure)

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:53:41 GMT

LC'ed again...

Met a nice guy randomly at a bar one night. We drank alot, danced, and made out. Unfortunately, I was off to my vacation the next day, but we traded numbers anyway and I called him when I returned in 5 days. We talked wonderfully on the phone, and he asked me to get together for drinks at a bar later that week. We met up, kissed, held hands, and chatted happily. I asked him if he'd like to get together that weekend (St. Patty's), and he said he'd message me Saturday night.

Before Saturday, he messaged me a few little sweet words, and I returned back. During the day of Saturday, he messages me "have I got my green lips yet" and I return back "did he have a flower for me"? No response. Hrm. Ok, maybe he's busy.

He does message me later that night "Buenos Noches", and I respond "Bonne Nuit". However, he never does make it clear whether he wants to get together. Ok, well he's probably with friends.

I call him the next day and leave a message that I'd like to see him. No return after two days. I wish he'd just let me know what happened so suddenly. Did he get another girl? Was I too available (or unavailable)? Just didn't see anything else for us?

No closure is the worst. I vow to be more direct and clear in future, if ever in a situation of turning someone else down. :(

posted in Love Cursed - 7 replies

any ladies out there feel like popping the question?

lovecursed — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 07:27:18 GMT

well.. tomorrow is your day!
lol :)

<b>The Privilege of Ladies</b>

Legend: Custom allows marriage-minded gals to propose to their boyfriends on February 29.

Origins: Due to the vagaries of our calendar, every year whose number is cleanly divisible by four is a leap year, and so contains an extra day tacked onto its February. (Excepting full centuries which, to be leap years, must be divisible by 400; if not, they are common years. The year 1900, therefore, was not a leap year, but 2000 was. Leaves one breathless, doesn't it?)

Because leap years are seen as unusual events that disturb the otherwise orderly progression of days/months/years, certain beliefs have been attached to them. (One constant in the realm of folklore and superstition is that out-of-the-ordinary events are deemed to have out-of-the-ordinary consequences or properties.) Leap years, according to folk tradition, were the only times when women could propose marriage to men, with this Leap year belief often termed "The Ladies' Privilege." Yet even within this hypothesis there was disagreement as to how far it went — a great many of those who encountered this custom did not see it as applicable throughout the length of a leap year, but only to the extra day itself; that is, only to February 29.

Another school of thought held that a man so entreated either had to accept the proposal or pay the refused woman a substantial forfeit for turning her down, such as a silk gown or £100. (Indeed, it was widely and erroneously reported that a Scottish Act of Parliament from the 13th Century had mandated this, or that this "agree or else" proposition had been enshrined in English Common Law. Often this tidbit of misinformation was presented as a 1288 decree by Queen Margaret of Scotland, under which men who declined the invitation to wed were fined £1.) In another form of the belief, men who said no were not on the hook to buy expensive presents for the disappointed girls or to pay fines to the Crown, but their refusals attracted ill fortune to themselves. In yet another twist, if the gal who did the asking had failed to wear a scarlet flannel petticoat, or if a corner of the same were not partly visible under her dress, the man who declined would be spared the ill luck that a turn-down would ordinarily have propelled his way.

The origins of "The Ladies' Privilege" are not definitively known, but one posited beginning set in Ireland had St. Bridget complaining to St. Patrick about women not being able to ask the men they fancied to marry them. According to the folktale, he offered the opportunity at a seven-year interval, and she bargained him down to four. (If this tale is true, it's no wonder St. Patrick took to putting the run on snakes, because he sure wasn't doing well against women.)

Though everyone loves a good folktale, the beginning of this custom more likely has to do with February 29 being perceived as a day that does not properly belong on the calendar and thus as a period when the ordinary rules of conduct do not apply. Other superstitions play upon the underlying theme of "betwixt and between" times being occasions especially fraught with peril or periods when the unusual was not only allowed to occur, but was encouraged to do so. Midnight — the time after the twelve but before the one — was viewed as an interval when the fabric drawn between the ordinary world and the realm of the spirits grew especially thin, its etherealness perhaps allowing a ghost or two to suddenly appear in our midst, or permitting one of us to be sucked into the chaos of the other side. In similar spirit, it is considered bad luck for betrothed couples to allow themselves to be photographed together since, being neither single nor married, they exist in an in-between state. Consequently, they must take care to prevent the appearance of presumption of enduring couplehood, lest by seemingly flaunting their togetherness, they may never see it come to fruition.

In earlier days of Western society, relations between the sexes were far more formal and scripted, with each gender being expected to adhere to its assigned roles. When it came to proposing marriage, men did the asking and women did the accepting or declining — the other way around would have been unthinkable. Thus a leap year reversal of this ordinary state of things would be seen as something else being turned on its ear during a period when little else made sense anyway.

Unlike in earlier times, there is now no societal prohibition against women being the ones to ask on bended knee. Custom, however, still continues to favor men doing the proposing, but its happening the other way around is no longer seen as shocking or as a challenge to the right way of things.

There is a bit more to leap year lore besides girls suddenly popping up to hold out velvet-covered ring boxes to their beaux. Superstition decrees leap years are notably excellent for beginning important undertakings or business ventures. The choice of February 29 itself is deemed particularly astute in that even greater luck will attach to all that is begun on that day, including children conceived during that particular 24-hour stretch. Speaking of children, we also note that superstition says those born on February 29 are fated to be favored by Dame Fortune.

- Barbara Mikkelson

2008 is a leap year.
more info on leap years:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leap_year

posted in Love Cursed - 3 replies

I'm Lobe Cursed

geo — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 07:27:59 GMT

My earlobes always freeze up in cold weather.

posted in Love Cursed - 3 replies

I'm Loge Cursed

geo — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 07:29:44 GMT

The loge seats at the theater always sell out before I can buy tickets.

posted in Love Cursed - 1 reply

I'm Not Love Cursed

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 04:43:18 GMT

I'm LTR Challenged.

posted in Love Cursed - 17 replies

theme songs

pantsy — Mon, 06 Sep 2004 20:03:51 GMT

my upstairs neighbor is playing Concrete Blonde's "Joey" (aka "fuckerpants' theme song") WAY too loud right now.

that being said, what are your LC theme songs?

i'll start! v1n*c0g*nitO's is:

"I'm too Sexy" by Right Said Fred
with just a sprinkling of Mill Vanilli's "Girl You Know It's True" for flavor!

posted in Love Cursed - 126 replies

What do you do.......

FireBird — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 20:47:58 GMT

So what do you do when you like someone who's always traveling and always has to drop you cause of work overseas?

posted in Love Cursed - 2 replies

I have a confession to make

lovecursed — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 06:24:50 GMT

i am a tribe lurker.
lol...
but really, i am.
however, just because i read more than i post, the news of tribe disappearing saddened me, so i got a star.
i think u should get one too.
love you guys :)
<3

posted in Love Cursed - 12 replies

I thought it was over...

CatherinetheGreat — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 01:39:07 GMT

... my love curse, that is. I thought I'd found the most wonderful man. We'd finish eachother's sentences. We had so much in common it was uncanny. He had been after me since we met 3 years ago, when I was in another relationship, and when I was recovering from that but not yet ready. I thought he was the only decent man left on earth, with real values and morals. When he moved in middle July, I was sure we'd be engaged by Christmas.

At a party in October, I found him in the bedroom with the hostess. The sheets were messed up. I turned around to leave, and he didn't run after me. We did end up going home together, and I gave him every chance to explain or make up, but he told me to go out with my other friends. Then he just left for a hotel. I went to see a psychiatrist, because he said what was most lacking in me was I "wasn't happy enough." I was immediately 5150'd. If you don't know what that is, it's the California law that allows one to be invountarily put in the hospital. For suicidal thoughts.

First he came to visit me, and said everything would be alright. The day I was supposed to get out, my doctor handed me a post-it note from my bf which just said "It's over. I'm moving out. As soon as you learn to accept this, you can call." I immediately called him to see if he'd made arrangements for my cats. If you've never been involuntarily hospitalized, you probably don't know how difficult it is just to make a phone call. They take away your cellphone and shoe laces the minute you get in. There are public phones, but they are locked down at night, during meal times, and during "group" times. Which means they are hardly every open. You are only allowed 2 phone calls per 8 hour shift, with a limit of 10 minutes. Somehow in that phone call I convinced him to stay, and to pick me up from the hospital when I was finally released. There were no flowers or warm welcome waiting for me.

I went through a month and a half of a Partial Hospitalization Program, which means 6 hours a day of group therapy and really bad art classes. I did this for him, because I wanted to be the happy person he wanted. He swore he was completely committed to me now, and had severed all ties with the woman I found him with.

Last night I found out that he and she had been carrying on a phone relationship for a month, during and after my hospitalization. We had been going to couples counseling weekly during all this time, and he never thought to bring it up, saying it was "irrelevant."

I have $70,000 worth in hospitalization and therapy fees. The new big bed I bought fo us when he moved in is still not paid off. For all that, I could have had a wedding I never would have dreamed of.

I am cursed beyond belief.

posted in Love Cursed - 9 replies

Anti-Valentines Day

katfireblade — Wed, 26 Jan 2005 02:54:32 GMT

At some point or another, we have all done something to rebel against this stupid cutsey holiday of which we arent involved. What is it you've done?

I recall one year a friend and I decided to make our protest visual.

I had been dumped not long before the holidays by the couple I had been dating, which wasnt only hard, but achingly so. Some of the more fun moments involved being so tied in my finances to theirs that for a while I couldnt move out, and so sat in the living room listening as they had sex every night oblivious tomy presence in the house, and going to work each day to see him sitting across the building. I was not a happy girl. But goddamned if V-day wasnt coming up, and I refused to let the SOB see me upset. My friend was in a similar place in life (different, less twisted story), and we knocked our heads together trying to figure out what to do to defy the holiday.

I am still most enamored of the outfits we came up with. I have a shirt that says "Love Sucks" on it, and a pair of nice black f*ck-me jeans. She went with a plain black t-shirt and peasent skirt. It wasnt planned, but we looked like one another's date. We also wore chains and padlocks for belts, and any makeup was of the dark gothic variety. I wanted to paint "not a chance" on my lock, but didnt.

I also didnt get the bag of anti-valentines candy (you can get the discouraging heart candy from despair.com), but did make stickers proclaiming disdain by drawing cracks in a bunch of heart stickers and writing nasty phrases on them, then handing them out at work.

We didnt really do anything too special that night, but I had such a good time I decided to do it every year I had the chance. My heart was raw and cracked completly in two, and I had a pretty good valentines anyway.

Anyone else?

posted in Love Cursed - 71 replies

Pro-Valentines Day

Thu, 27 Jan 2005 06:14:18 GMT

Don't post here.

posted in Love Cursed - 12 replies

VDay LOL

Tue, 14 Feb 2006 19:05:48 GMT

Lack Of Love.

posted in Love Cursed - 11 replies

a bit of divorcee humor

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 18:51:51 GMT

Q: "What questions should you ask yourself after a divorce?"

A: What happened to all of my money? I could swear that I used to have some. What the HELL was I THINKING?

How is this going to affect my already unhealthy drinking habits?

Who will be my next unfortunate victim......?

Where do I go now for a relaxing vacation?

Why didn't I recognize my Stockholm Syndrome earlier?

I got married by a judge. Next time should I ask for a jury?

Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who wants to live in an institution?

posted in Love Cursed - 0 replies

Please check profiles before making comments to posts....

Timberwolf — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 14:05:04 GMT

My fellow Tribe members - to easy some tension here between "Timbo" and myself - "Timberwolf (aka Walter)" - before you make a comment to any posts concerning either of us could you please make sure as to whom you will be addressing in your responce by checking the profile pages. It seems that "Timbo" is getting confused with me and I am being confused with him. It is no big deal with me, as I can see and understand the posts, but it seems to be a big deal with him. So please, just check the profiles before making any comments to either of our posts.

Not my fault that Tribe only shows a few letters of our profile names.....

posted in Love Cursed - 3 replies

a lump of coal

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 01:47:11 GMT

in a strange Love Cursed twist, my heart has hardened over recently, much like a lake freezing over in the winter. no more highs and lows of the rollercoaster ride---just a gray, unfeeling, uninterested feeling for anyone in a romantic way. well, it could be due to a series of unsuccessful, very dramatic, and oft stressful relationships that occurred during the past 31.5 years. i've been unattached the past 1.5 years, only the occasional date that hasn't progressed past the first one.

have you ever hit a rut where you aren't interested or hopeful in anyone? how long did it take you to pull out of it?

posted in Love Cursed - 24 replies

the holidays

lovecursed — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 05:33:59 GMT

tis the season for joy and love.
and of memories good *and* bad...
the holidays can be such a roller coaster!

where is this all coming from?
well, today i got kinda sad because i am so far away from my family...
and it made me think of how sometimes this time of year can be so hard for people.
once i had my cry i forced myself to look around and be thankful for everything and one i do have in my life, even if they are far away.
there are so many people in this world who are less fortunate than i...
i guess what i'm trying to say is that i am thankful for the people and things that are in my life, regardless of this 'curse'-
and that includes you.
melodramatic S.A.D?
maybe...

but my wish for us all is love and happiness for 2008.

have a good one, and a safe one~ whatever you may be celebrating.
love
<3

posted in Love Cursed - 10 replies

Different sort of Curse...

Angel_Wylde — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 23:59:02 GMT

SO! Here's the rub...

I'm not love cursed in the traditional sense. I hesitated before I decided to post asking for advice on this, thinking it may be better to create a anon profile first, but I figure if I keep it to this forum specifically all will be well.

See, I suffer from a strange sort of itch. It's been with me for as long as I can remember. When I'm with someone for an extended period of time I *always* end up wandering. For awhile, I thought it was because ultimately while I was with people that I wanted to be with the fact was that they were not in my league. I'm sorry if that sounds crass, but I've spent alot of time trying to figure out where these tendencies come from and lying to myself to make myself feel like a better person isn't going to help anyone. Besides, I'm now with one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, and perhaps the closest to what I always dreamed I would have intellectually, the person I'd always be with.

For quite awhile now I've successfully curtailed these urges. But they're always there. First, the boredom comes (and, I assure you, it's an entirely physical boredom, or at least seems so) Then, I become almost unable to function sexually in the relationship. The only thing that quickens me again are exploits with others. I don't know if it's a matter of needing excitement, my own attempt to spice things up, or some sick need to "get away" with something.

If anyone can offer perspective or advice on this matter I'd sure appreciate it. I'm out of answers, and I already begin to feel it creeping up on me.

Just a boy tryin to cope here folks. Lemme hear ya.

posted in Love Cursed - 10 replies

Being Undisoriented, Where Are You?

timbo — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 03:23:21 GMT

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/paranoia

There is no "healthy level" of 'paranoia', according to its definition. Distrust and paranoia are not necessarily the same thing nor do they necessarily have the same root causes--they can, however, overlap. And, sadly, some folks take advantage of these simple facts as a means of manipulation and control. Being undisoriented, where are you?

posted in Love Cursed - 1 reply

becoming a cheater

theApostate — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 23:47:04 GMT

i need some help regarding my behavior and dilemma in love.

for some reason i have stopped enjoying my relationship with my current boyfriend who is to be considered a very good one, by most people's standards. he's good-looking, intelligent, sweet, responsible, thoughtful, generous, sensitive, definitely earns an A+ in the great-boyfriend category.

i, on the other hand, have recently been unreasonably suspicious of him, and insecure. there was just a time when my psychic/emotional garbage was suddenly being flung out...

anyway, it seems to me that i haven't yet moved on from a past emotional investment on someone else... that was just emotional investment, nothing else - not time spent together, etc.... the reason why we weren't able to consume that love was because i was too paranoid about him and he didn't know what to do about it. his really busy schedule didn't help either... his brutally honest way of speaking didn't help either. he was a nonconformist, just as i am, but i think i judged him by the mainstream's standards but then again, i had used my own logic too, and he didn't find a way to prove that he was trustworthy.

i think the reason that i am attracted to him is because he fills a need in me, which may be a form of spiritual need, wherein you dive deep into your soul and commune with another... to lose your identity/ego.... something like that.... he seems more capable of filling it than the other guy, who might just be into having a nice time together, have someone to depend on, and that's that....

anyway i realize that i may be really immature and i wonder just how i can change this. i want to be committed to just one person but i don't know which to choose..... if i go by society's standards, i'd choose A+ boyfriend, if i go by my own heart solely, no mind or ego, i'd be with the mysterious character.... but the latter has told me today that i should move on, he has given up on me because i had disappointed him many times before...

so i wonder how can i know myself better and be more truly loving without hurting anyone else...

also, is there a way to feel spiritually whole without another person.... (i don't want to go to church or pray, i had a history of that and i'm sick of it. it reminds me of too many ugly things...)

posted in Love Cursed - 7 replies

God made me do it

danigrrl — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 22:59:51 GMT

So I teach at a Catholic high school and once a month we all go to Mass together. I've been in this horrible place for months and months (see the Don't try this at home, thread). I pray every time, but those of you who are religious you probably know what I mean when I say, my prayers have been stale.

I haven't been so sincere in my asking God to forgive me for ignoring his own plan (that's my standard first sentence to God: "Please, as always, forgive my insolence in ignoring your word.")

For a long time after that sentence I have added, "Please bless me in this journey and help me to understand why I can't have my boyfriend back - ER, um, I mean in this journey to find a fulfilling role in your light." Then I reluctantly add, "OKAY, fine, forgive me for always wishing about my boyfriend."

And so it goes on.

Does God ever talk to you? He talks to me if I shut up and listen. Well something talks to me and it can't be me because it's actual good advice and enlightened thinking. But I have to meditate though. And I have to quiet my mind and I have to be sincere in asking.

None of this eightball stuff I tend to do. "Does he really love me underneath it all, Lord?"

`If the answer comes super fast, It's not God. Something like..."Outcomeisgood." That's not God answering.

God has more of an intellectual feel. And usually the question gets redirected.

"Does he really love me underneath it all, Lord?"

"Are you meaning to ask, are you a beloved creature to all who know you?"

*sigh* "yeah. Okay, so, then, can I ask if I will get him back?"

God: "You never let go of him. How can one get back that whom they never let go?"

It was like thunder with my eyes closed and He went on.

"You haven't cleared you of him. You have to let him be free. You never let go. He can only be BACK in your life when you let him go.

So that happened on Wednesday. And Last night, I realized I was ready to stop being his girlfriend.

posted in Love Cursed - 8 replies

Don't try this at home

danigrrl — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 22:12:53 GMT

Break up with your live-in girlfriend...and then lose your job and ask to stay until you get back on your feet.

Worst month of my life.

"Hey Dani."

"Hey Juan."

"How was your day?"

"Shitty, like every other day I have to be reminded that the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with just didn't love me enough yet still need to rely on me to survive."

"Oh I see, God I'm sorry Dani...you really are perfect. Any guy would be lucky to have. you."

"Then why not you?"

"I'm not good enough for you. Want me to make your favorite for dinner?"

"Yeah...sure. That'll make me feel nostalgic and I'll probably end up crying by desert time, but sure."

"Great.. that'll torture me as well - let's do it."

"How about if I keep you company while you cook so I can offer a passive aggressive description of how you need me."

"Lovely, and at the same time I'll do the right thing and ask for your forgiveness for being a typical male afraid of commitment and as we talk I will confirm everything you say is wrong. If I'm up to it, I will probably even make you feel guilty for making me say you are right."

"Great, guilt is fun, let's do it."

"Okay, but only if later, we can wind up in the same bed snuggling and telling each other how we deserve to be on our own spiritual paths together to make us better for a possible reunion later that will yield a more authentic relationship - but only if you promise to fall asleep after I do, crying yourself to sleep, and then wake up telling yourself you should never share a bed with me again only to plan on doing it all over again that night."

"Deal!"

posted in Love Cursed - 22 replies

love cursed and loving it

twilightening — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 20:15:22 GMT

I've decided to adopt my love curse as a pet dragon that i will feed and nurture and heal and take care of.
it won't even be leashed!
and it will never burn me~~~just light my cloves for me.

posted in Love Cursed - 19 replies

dad's break

danigrrl — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 17:47:23 GMT

Are there situations where it's okay for a dad to not fight for their kids? What if your ex is a super crazy control freak and she will never not tell you exactly how you should help raise the kids and if you don't do what she says (which in this case involves watching them in her house and having them do chores in her house and they aren't allowed to see the people you date) she cusses you out and tells the kids things about you that humiliate and demasculate you?

Is it okay then to take a break from seeing your kids? Cause Juan and his ex have had such a falling out that she said he can't be a father to them and she'll go to court to prove she can make that happen. And I have a problem with him not fighting for the kids...but maybe if he leaves them alone for awhile...maybe that's best.

The problem is, what if they never forgive you for taking this break and they see it as abandonment?

posted in Love Cursed - 9 replies

So cruel So sad So petty

Coach — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 05:11:02 GMT

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/us/AP-Internet-Suicide.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Mom: Web Hoax Led Girl to Kill Herself
Filed at 11:31 p.m. ET

DARDENNE PRAIRIE, Mo. (AP) -- Megan Meier thought she had made a new friend in cyberspace when a cute teenage boy named Josh contacted her on MySpace and began exchanging messages with her.

Megan, a 13-year-old who suffered from depression and attention deficit disorder, corresponded with Josh for more than a month before he abruptly ended their friendship, telling her he had heard she was cruel.

The next day Megan committed suicide. Her family learned later that Josh never actually existed; he was created by members of a neighborhood family that included a former friend of Megan's.

Now Megan's parents hope the people who made the fraudulent profile on the social networking Web site will be prosecuted, and they are seeking legal changes to safeguard children on the Internet.

The girl's mother, Tina Meier, said she doesn't think anyone involved intended for her daughter to kill herself.

''But when adults are involved and continue to screw with a 13-year-old, with or without mental problems, it is absolutely vile,'' she told the Suburban Journals of Greater St. Louis, which first reported on the case.

Tina Meier said law enforcement officials told her the case did not fit into any law. But sheriff's officials have not closed the case and pledged to consider new evidence if it emerges.

Megan Meier hanged herself in her bedroom on Oct. 16, 2006, and died the next day. She was described as a ''bubbly, goofy'' girl who loved spending time with her friends, watching movies and fishing with her dad.

Megan had been on medication, but had been upbeat before her death, her mother said, after striking up a relationship on MySpace with Josh Evans about six weeks before her death.

Josh told her he was born in Florida and had recently moved to the nearby community of O'Fallon. He said he was homeschooled, and didn't yet have a phone number in the area to give her.

Megan's parents said she received a message from him on Oct. 15 of last year, essentially saying he didn't want to be her friend anymore, that he had heard she wasn't nice to her friends.

The next day, as Megan's mother headed out the door to take another daughter to the orthodontist, she knew Megan was upset about Internet messages. She asked Megan to log off. Users on MySpace must be at least 14, though Megan was not when she opened her account. A MySpace spokeswoman did not return calls seeking comment.

Someone using Josh's account was sending cruel messages. Then, Megan called her mother, saying electronic bulletins were being posted about her, saying things like, ''Megan Meier is a slut. Megan Meier is fat.''

Megan's mother, who monitored her daughter's online communications, returned home and said she was shocked at the vulgar language her own daughter was sending. She told her daughter how upset she was about it.

Megan ran upstairs, and her father, Ron, tried to tell her everything would be fine. About 20 minutes later, she was found in her bedroom. She died the next day.

Her father said he found a message the next day from Josh, which he said law enforcement authorities have not been able to retrieve. It told the girl she was a bad person and the world would be better without her, he has said.

Another parent, who learned of the MySpace account from her own daughter who had access to the Josh profile, told Megan's parents about the hoax in a counselor's office about six weeks after Megan died. That's when they learned Josh was imaginary, they said.

The woman who created the fake profile has not been charged with a crime. She allegedly told the St. Charles County Sheriff's Department she created Josh's profile because she wanted to gain Megan's confidence to know what Megan was saying about her own child online.

The mother from down the street told police that she, her daughter and another person all typed and monitored the communication between the fictitious boy and Megan.

A person who answered the door at the family's house told an Associated Press reporter on Friday afternoon that they had been advised not to comment.

Megan's parents had been storing a foosball table for the family that created the MySpace character. Six weeks after Megan's death, they learned the other family had created the profile and responded by destroying the foosball table, dumping it on the neighbors' driveway and encouraging them to move away.

Megan's parents are now separated and plan to divorce.

Aldermen in Dardenne Prairie, a community of about 7,000 residents about 35 miles from St. Louis, have proposed a new ordinance related to child endangerment and Internet harassment. It could come before city leaders on Wednesday.

''Is this enough?'' Mayor Pam Fogarty said Friday. ''No, not by any stretch of the imagination, but it's something, and you have to start somewhere.''

posted in Love Cursed - 5 replies

Put yur pressure on it

cruzzin — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 03:21:35 GMT

That love bullet went right through
Would it were from you
The glacial cast of eye
You wend my way
I could leave it all behind
Just for one day

The hole’s bleedin’ out

posted in Love Cursed - 3 replies

The Little Things

Coach — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 20:03:45 GMT

Well my girlfriend and I broke up after about 6 months. Its ok it was'nt working and it appears that after a couplle months the friends thing is going to work out. I have to say that I have realized how important the little things are. We all know that some sort of common ground on issues of spirituality, morality and maturity are a must but the little things count too. I really need someone who has a passion for music. Maybe not playing an instrument but they should be able to be really into hearing new music and appreciateing it. Not just be into the radio. I mean thats one example for me but how about you guys. What little things are really important to you?

posted in Love Cursed - 18 replies

You could be....

Coach — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 01:32:12 GMT

dating this guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSWUWPx2VeQ

Wouldnt long road trips be a lot fun with this lover

posted in Love Cursed - 3 replies

Text Message Break Up!?

LilShadow — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 06:43:19 GMT

Do people actually do this? Why YES if you are cursed like me they do!!!! AND We're no where near being in high school either so I have no idea what the fuck his excuse is! He even said he thought there was nothing wrong with it! What ? Are you fucking kidding me!!!???

At least i had this video to get me through it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcidD2HFK8M

posted in Love Cursed - 5 replies

love is possibility

djsparkle — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 05:13:07 GMT

"The elusive and always beautiful possible. It's the possible we seek each time we fall in love. It's the possible we're looking for when we travel, when we paint, when we sing. It's the possible that's always just around the corner, it's the possible that infects our dreams, drives us forward sometimes to madness. And the loss of the possible is sometimes more devestating than the death of the actual."
excerpt written by the wonderful Marvel-

This knowledge along with my own wretched heartache over something that never quite was, have given me new understanding.

I write him again, a letter I will probably again not send nor read to him. Maybe I will, who knows. It's amazing the sense of completion you can have from writing letters whether or not they are sent.

>>>
Whenever I hear them damn proggy breaks or anything like it, or hell even see my last year swimsuits, I get all flashback nostalgia-y. It has gotten so much better since I realized how much responsibility I had for everything.... But it is still there. I still wish, fantasize, dream, and reminisce. Through the reminiscince comes the wish/dream/fantasies.

I think I had one of the coolest realizations of all yesterday though, as I did yoga, “worked it out”. I thought about how humans thrive on the feeling of being in love, and how they feel like they’re in love when they are doing new things. I thought about how being in love is a symptom of seeing possibilities, and suddenly realized how similar being in love is with creating possibilities for being for ourselves, which had also stemmed from the realization that most of what I was missing all the time was not so much our relationship, because that was sparse in actuality. What I missed more was who I was, and who I felt I was, and was being, and could be. And in fact, what I’d want to be doing “differently” if I had “what I wanted”… was not much at all.

I’d simply have more zeal, passion, drive and vision.

Not so much, is it?
<<<<<

posted in Love Cursed - 5 replies

Love HUrts

BABALOO — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 21:12:50 GMT

I think I may be cursed.

posted in Love Cursed - 2 replies

would adulterers...

theApostate — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 01:19:55 GMT

...actually have some guts to have dinner with his new single girl's parents???

posted in Love Cursed - 18 replies

what is love?

lovecursed — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 10:03:01 GMT

hi,
first off i just wanted to apologize for not posting much here anymore... i want u to know that i do still check in here and read your posts even though i rarely say much. i do appreciate you and am grateful to have you here.

one of the main reasons for starting this tribe as well as the whole love cursed theme was the fact that love just seems so hard to find and then actually hold onto in this world of ours... and that love itself is a hard thing to define because everyone seems to have their own personal expectations and definitions as to what love actually is.
so, my question for all of you is this:
what do *you* think love is?
thanks for your response,
xo S

posted in Love Cursed - 23 replies

Bad Dates

Tue, 29 May 2007 03:05:05 GMT

I sent this to www.nerve.com 's Bad Date Contest and it got me thinking, I bet the people over at Love Cursed could give me some bad dates stories... so...

Read and enjoy my misery! Oh, and tell me about your bad date.

The Hairdresser

I went on one date with this gentleman we'll call "the hairdresser." He was easy-on-the-eyes, Mr. Sensitive and he had great hair.

So I decided to go on a second date with him. I asked him to walk with me to breakfast. That turned out to be a very long walk.

It started with him farting. At first I wanted to pretend I didn't hear it. But then the hairdresser said "excuse me" like he had accidentally let me run out of sidewalk instead of farting, loudly, in front of a woman he was on a second date with.

We kept walking. Another fart. He looked at me and saw my clear shock and disapproval. His face turned stern and he said, "I believe in letting it all out. It's unnatural not to."

For some reason I decided to just shut up and keep walking. Maybe I was really hungry. Breakfast went fine except he seemed completely bored with everything I said and did nothing to hide it. On the walk back I was saying something when he suddenly blurted out, "I really don't like you."

Ok, so I figure we're on the same page. We don't say much after that as I walk him back to his car. When we reach his car he says something like, "So I'll call you. I had a great time. I hope I can see you again soon." He's completely sincere. I respond with something like, "Yeah, maybe" because I am a horrible person.

This clearly showed me the hairdresser had very little idea of reality. I was a little creeped out. So I texted him that I didn't want to see him again (I said I was a horrible person). He texted me and called me many times that day and I grew increasingly alarmed.

Later that night (at about 10 pm) there is a knocking on my door and a text message on my phone from the hairdresser, "Let me in." He proceeds to knock with increasingly more zealous and text me these long crazy text messages that had no continuous nature whatsoever for two hours, while I waited for the cops to come and scare him away.

posted in Love Cursed - 16 replies

Hmmm

SkylarkingSLP — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 12:36:40 GMT

About 4-5 months ago, a co-worker of mine told me about the adorable, single gym teacher in her son's school and said she spoke to him and he wanted my number. So I gave her my card to give to him. A week later, she asks if I heard from him. I hadn't. A week after that she told me she gave him a little nudge of a reminder to call and he responded with something to the effect of "being really busy".

Well, in my book, that means he is either uninterested or otherwise involved with something/someone...which is fine.

So yesterday, I see there's a message on my voice mail and it was from this guy saying how he's sorry he didn't call sooner, but...blah bah blah.

Now, I know beggers can't be choosers, and I haven't even had a date in almost a year, but does this sound kinda *icky* to anyone? Like, now that the summer is over, he's had his fun...or the person he might have been seeing, he's not anymore. So, what did he do? Rifle through his wallet or collections of old phone numbers to see about future prospects?

It doesn't entirely sit well with me, but I do understand life happens and time can be relative to each individual. I plan on calling him...maybe tomorrow. I'm in no rush since he wasn't either.

Whatcha think?

posted in Love Cursed - 14 replies

The Dry Spell

SkylarkingSLP — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 00:39:49 GMT

So, I haven't had a date in almost a year now. No long hugs with a guy let alone a nice deep kiss. Usually, when I go away for a week in the tropics, its inevitable that I'll have a little fling. Well...nope. Nothing at all during the last three vacations. I'll see someone who I think is attractive and its like I'm invisible to them. Is it that I'm getting too old? Or are they too young? Am I only remembering myself as a sexy 30 year old, but in reality I'm 37, losing my looks, and just not turning heads anymore? Perhaps I should just travel alone and maybe somebody will see me and take pity on me...a mercy romance!

posted in Love Cursed - 60 replies

I'm as cursed as anyone can be

danigrrl — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 06:56:41 GMT

Yet, I'm happy.

I can fully admit my boyfriend is a functional alcoholic. As was my dad. But...he kills himself to handle the addiction and he takes care of me better than any sober man I have been with. As did my dad. Needless to say my friends are worried. It's supposed to be drama and misery, isn't it? My guy, as my dad was, is a happy loving drunk. And I admit, when he drinks, he's preoccupied spreading his charm around. Bu he works his ass off, raises two kids (help raises 2 others -mine), pays half of everything and is great in bed.

I mean I'm ready for the shit to hit, I'm ready to suck it all up and say goodbye when shit goes sour, but...year and a half and the only sour so far has been my friend's condemnation of the relationship and the impending doom of some of them dropping me because of their worry of what might happen.

I'm embarrased how happy I am.

posted in Love Cursed - 11 replies

Reason

toesup — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 19:11:16 GMT

Here is a reason NOT to fall in love over the internet..

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6943616.stm

posted in Love Cursed - 9 replies

Dating sites

toesup — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 21:39:30 GMT

I'm noticing quite a few dating sites, both on the TV and appearing on the internet (they appear in the weirdest sites!) and wondered how peoples experiences compare with the claims of these sites.. eharmony?.. matchmaker?.. friend finder to name but a few..

Have you looked?
Have you joined?
Have you met people from these sites?
Did you think they were value for money?
.. or a waste?
Was it a meat market?
.. full of 'pervs'?

Obviously, if you are here, you havnt had success.. Do you have stories (good or bad) that might help others?

posted in Love Cursed - 22 replies

I Totally Blew It!

LilShadow — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 18:58:22 GMT

I met someone at a party this past weekend. Of course I peg him as a total player off the bat and would not believe a word he said to me because he would go on and on from the minute he saw me about how hot and sexy I was, but I still went home with him.

We didn’t have sex.

So after a lot of making out and heavy petting and some sleeping and now being sober we go onto some more making out and some talking and all of the sudden it got REALLY weird...

All of the sudden he could read me as if he was reading my mind, and I could do the same with him, all of the sudden there was this weird connection building up so intensely on us we both started totally trembling.

We get to talking and he is the female version of me!
Same jokes, same sense of humor that gets him into the same trouble I get into, same random quotes and in talking and through the making out and heavy petting we also know and figure out quickly that we are absolutely compatible in every way physically as well.

We both mention it and talk about it without sayin the exact words we were thinking but acknowledge that whatever is happening to us is very intense and VERY scary!!! He says, but in a good way and it is fun. He says he is scared because it is not everyday you meet someone that you know within 24 hours is going to turn your world completely on it's head! I say this is impossible, we are both intelligent adults there is no way this is real or this could happen. He says it has been known to happen and I am not going to count myself out as not being one that this can happen to.

So I asked if he has not yet gone to BM (he's going this year) and he was at the party by himself how did he find out about it? And that is where now the story is interesting, he says...

I called a friend I had not talk to in a REALLY REALLY long time for some reason he popped into my head that day and felt I needed to call him. Asked him what he was doing that night and we should hang out. He said he was part of this camp having this party and told him about it, my guy says, “huh, that sounds like just the random thing I should do tonight, I'll meet you there.”

We are at my house talking about it again after the very long intense in a good way day and I am putting on my make up in the bathroom he is looking at the movies in my bookshelf right next to the door as I say, that is weird what are the odds really that you are going to randomly call someone, they tell you about a party and you randomly go blah blah blah, I mean what are the odds? He says “what are the odds that right as you are saying those exact words I am looking at this one movie out of the hundreds here?” and it was serendipity.

WTF is that? What is going on??? This is why we are both a little freaked out. It is the little stuff like that oh and by the way by mid day we were already finishing each other sentences, who does that after knowing someone at that point 12 hours????

We spent the entire day together, went to my house so I can change clothes because now I am going to a going away party with him to meet all of his employees/co-workers and friends.

The ending though did not really turn out the way we had planned or the way I had hoped because the partying kind of stepped in and took over for him and well I had to work so instead of going home together I had to go home alone, and well because of the partying I think he felt bad and thought I would hold it against him or I was, so it was a strange goodbye and then I got lost trying to get to the bridge and I called him we couldn't hear each other very well because of the noise and eventually he hung up. I was frustrated wasn't sure if he thought we were done or if his battery died or if he got mad and frustrated himself so I tried calling back a few times because well I was lost but he wouldn't answer so instead of thinking that the battery could've died I leave a message saying, “I am lost I really hope you didn't get mad and hang up on me and if you did I can't believe you are not answering your phone now especially because you know I got lost”, ugh, I of course now regret leaving that message and not sure how he will respond to it at all. I called this morning left a message saying “I hope you got home ok and that you had fun, sorry about the message last night I was just drunk and high and frustrated because I was lost and didn't want to be on the road that long and hope we are still on for tonight and I can't wait to see you.” I hope that smoothes it over.

But I do have the voicemail he left me last night while I was with him and it was so nice, he says “I am standing here looking at you right now and you are so fucking dead sexy (gives me his number) and then says, yeah dead fucking sexy.”

I just am trying not to let my old negative thinking get in the way and not worry about whether he really meant what he was starting to feel or if he was just being one of those in the heat of the moment guys.

I stopped having expectations and getting my hopes up usually when I have some sort of encounter similar but I have NEVER had one like this and I KNOW it had to be real I am just SO fearful of the disappointment if I did read it all wrong and he is just smooth like that.

So, I am thinking now I probably blew it though with this guy and he must think I am crazy!

Mostly because when we got disconnected when I was lost I probably called back a gazillion times well like 4 and then left that desperate crazy message.

Then I called and apologized to his voicemail yesterday sent 2 flirty text messages one of which was also asking and trying to confirm plans I thought we had made for last night, of course he never responded. Then of course I left a message last night trying to kind of again confirm plans if not for last night then for at least friday.

So on top of calling incessantly when I was panicked and lost I tried to then contact him about 4 times yesterday, ugh, he probably now thinks I am a psycho and wants nothing to do with me! =(

Oh well, maybe he just didn't mean everything he said, I need to learn not to be so gullible!
It just for some reason REALLY felt like the REAL deal this time! ugh!

posted in Love Cursed - 38 replies

How do you meet people?

toesup — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 17:20:43 GMT

So.. If dating websites are not such a good idea..

How do you meet people?

Do you go out of your way to meet people?
Bars?.. nightclubs?.. the market?..

..or do you just do your 'day to day' thing and hope someone 'interesting' will cross your path?

posted in Love Cursed - 7 replies

My turn on the love's fool stage.

Sun, 08 Jul 2007 15:34:19 GMT

I am 38- this is important to the story. I am a young 38- I stay active, engaged, read the news, but on a good day pass for no younger than 32 or 3. And I am looking for a love-based relationship with long term potential. Generaly I date women in there early 30s to about 40- it seems to me logical to date people witinn the same frame of life as I am. It hasnt been easy- we all have baggage at 30, and we all are set in our ways ( or begin to set there anyway.), but I keep trying.

Recently a friend of mine introduced me to her summer renter. She is 22. I had no intention of courting her, but when after we had hung out a few times she let her interest in me show, I found myself unable to resist her.

So now I am crushed-out on a woman who is 16 years younger, and going to grad school in five weeks in another state.

D'oh

posted in Love Cursed - 18 replies

GoS Party This Friday in SF

LilShadow — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 16:41:56 GMT

Please join us for an exciting celebration
August 10th, 2007 Yep, that is THIS Friday, at Supperclub for:
The Girls of Spike's Calendar Release Party and meet the HOT Girls of Spike's Vampire Bar in person!!!
See some amazing Fire Performances!!

$15 at the door and $15 for the calendar.

Can't make the party?

That's ok you can still order your calendar for $15 plus shipping!

Get them now before we run out AND we will run out as there are only a limited amount printed.

We promise you you will LOVE them and that they are HOT!!!

Details here:
www.girlsofspikes.com

Thank you for your support!

posted in Love Cursed - 0 replies

Ouch

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 17:21:36 GMT

That is all.

posted in Love Cursed - 4 replies

My Curse

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 00:10:42 GMT

I have this "funny" curse. What happens is whenever I fall in love with someone and/or they fall in love with me and it doesn't work out (as always happens, thus far), the NEXT person they date will be "the one" for them. Seriously. My first love (when I was 17, I'm now 29) is still with the girl he met right after me. My last girlfriend moved in with the next girl she dated and says she's her "life partner."

This is just two examples but it happens with virtually everybody.

posted in Love Cursed - 5 replies

Could LOVE be an acronym?

edo — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 21:44:12 GMT

Low
Oscillating
Vibrational
Equivalence

Which refers to the way we divorce parts of US to be with someone else, and change who we really are in order to be with someone else. Lowering our own vibration in order to fit in with another so we can create a relationship...talk about a curse!

posted in Love Cursed - 19 replies

How to make someone fall for you.

jenna — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 18:25:52 GMT

We all know the phrases: "We want what we cannot have" and.. "We want all that is not good for us"

I met a guy who is not the settling down type, but he can potientially be good for me.
He can get any women he wants, yet he has a sweet side too. He is a Gemini ofcourse.

We are seeing eachother, and he did let me know in the begining that he does not want anything more than that.
I am the wifey type towards him, I do not argue or pick fights, I am there when he needs me, yet he knows he is not my #1 priority.

I always told myself that if I was ever in a situation like this, I wouldnt worry as long as I am the one he comes home to.
He does call me more than I call him, he lets his friends know I am with him and doesnt hide it, yet sometimes he may flirt with girls. The ones he flirts with, he is not interested in.

But the offically not together part bothers me. Boyfriend/Girlfriend is just a title, because he treats me with respect. But that is what I want. It makes me feel like he does not want me enough to consider me his girlfriend. We are not in a relationship. We go out, have fun, and I guess you can say I am starting to care for him. But I feel like I am falling for him and he doesnt feel the same way.

BOTTOM LINE: I want him to want to be more in my life. I want to leave him stuck on me, craving for me all the time. I want him to be crazy about me. But how do I do it? How do I get him to fall for me, when he clearly told me he does not fall?

posted in Love Cursed - 52 replies

haha Very Cute.

jenna — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 23:11:51 GMT

The Diary

10/7/06

Saturday night I thought he was acting weird.

We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink.

I was shopping with my friends all day long,

So I thought he was upset at the fact that I was late, but he made no
comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so
we could talk.

He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong. He
said "nothing".

I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him; he simply smiled and kept
driving.

I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say "I love you
too".

When we got home, I felt as if had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to
do with me anymore.

He just sat there and watched TV.

He seemed so distant and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed.

About 10 minutes later he came to bed and, to my surprise, he responded
to my caress and we made love,

But I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts where somewhere
else.

I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him
with the situation but he had fallen asleep.

I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep.

I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with
someone else.

My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY (10/07/06)

Today the Yankees lost...but at least I got laid.

posted in Love Cursed - 7 replies

Is it shallow?

digitaldallas — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 01:18:03 GMT

I was talking to a friend of mine who is in a moral dilemma. He and his wife of 7 years are at a crossroad. I know both of them dearly and they are good people. I have been friends with both before they were even married. In fact, I was the one who hooked them up. I guess this is why he is coming to me for advice. Being a bit older and been through a marriage myself (this is his first). He has never cheated and is completely monogamous and she is truly dedicated to him. They've both been through some trying times together and a there is a deep affection for each other.

The situation:
When he met her she was spunky and vibrant. She's a petite gal, under 5 foot. She was somewhat self-reliant while not being detached. Since they've been together. She has let herself go. The tiny gal who used to be 100lbs is now pushing 150. Now, he's dating "big girls" before and by his definition, "some curves are even sexy as hell." But his wife has just added the baggage. No curves just mass. Her weight has interfered with their sex life. He no longer finds her "sexy" or physically attractive but rather has sex just to satisfy her needs. He has tip-toed around the subject for some time until eventually he had a talk with her. He posed the issue as more of a health threat. He approached it that she needed to change her lifestyle a bit. Her work provides an excellent health package that includes a dietitian, yoga classes, and free use of an employees only gym. She agreed to take on the program.

This occurred almost two months ago. Sadly, she is lacking the discipline required to help her lose the weight. Her regiment included going to the gym regularly, yoga, and a healthy diet. She regularly skips workout days and yoga and she hasn't regulated her diet at all. Overall she seems quite unmotivated to do anything about it. To make matters even worse, she is constantly complaining how she doesn't feel sexy anymore and how she does want to lose the weight.

His dilemma:
He's has been extremely supportive of her. He encourages her to go to the gym. He even adjusted his diet to be more conscious of her cravings for food. He loves her as a person but has lost physical interest in her because of the weight. He doesn't want to cheat and being sexual with others (as in swinging, etc.) isn't an option for them. He doesn't consider himself a shallow person of sorts because he has indeed dated (and had sex with) larger girls. He is considering letting his wife go because of this. They have no children together and in all honesty she's the main money maker.

He's generally a nice guy that wouldn't want to hurt anybody. But he's tired of her lack of motivation and her complete disregard to her shape. In fact, if he didn't push her to go to the gym, she probably would just sit around and bitch about it. Would it be shallow for him to leave her? What about just threaten to leave?

posted in Love Cursed - 18 replies

Short but Sweet!!

LilShadow — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 00:09:01 GMT

I had no illusions about this relationship. I knew it wouldn't last. I guess, really it lasted maybe a little longer then it was suppose to, but honestly I was hoping for a couple of more weeks.

He was good practice for me for getting my inner strength back, he was, unbeknownst to him helping me keep myself grounded. Not in a co-dependent way but in a very independent way as see he really didn't know my "story" he knew bits and pieces but not the whole thing, which allowed me to be able to be myself fully and completely with no sorrow or pity or drama. It was peaceful.

He says he is concerned about disrespecting me, which is REALLY odd as he has been nothing but completely and totally respectful as well as very sweet and caring. I told him this and he thanked me for saying it but I am not sure he believed me or if he thought I was just paying him lip service. He has been actually completely awesome in this regaurd, more so then the last few guys I have been involved with anyway, and far more then any of the rumors I may have heard about him.
He really does need to know that.

He is broken, he has been honest with me about that from the very beginning. He warned me and asked me not to try to fix him. I for once didn't want to be the fixer and told him that it was not my job, we were both thankful.

He told me last week that if he started to develop any true feelings he would run, he also would never admit it but he would run just the same.

That was also the last time we were together. I knew at that moment it probably was the last time we would be together as there was something different, it, he was much more sweeter and tender then he had ever been before.

This all makes me sad for him, but I can't do anything to help him. The old me would've tried until I got destroyed all over again, again, he is much different in a healthy way for me.

He also helped give me a reason to continue on my non-smoking path. I have to admit as of right now at 45 days I REALLY want a cigarette! The old me says, "go ahead, no reason really not to now, you're not going to kiss him again" but that is just silliness and the old voice that I am slowly but surely distinguishing out of my head!

He has given me so much back without even knowing it. He has made me realize what I want from a partner and what I deserve. Funny that it is no surprise to me that he was the one to show me these things, I knew he would be the one to show me these things. Not only did he meet those expectations but on many levels he far exceeded them as well.

I was looking at it as a way to get myself back, the me that I had given away to too many so freely, and for some reason I knew he was the right person to do this with, to help find me and build my strength back. He's been solid, a rock!

Giving me the confidence back that I can continue on my journey on my own now.

As I read this and re-read this I realize that I have a lot to thank him for even though I knew we never stood a chance.

As someone once told me, everything happens for a season and a reason.

Our season it seems has now passed and the reasons were perfectly boundless, and I am just so thankful that this time I was able to see them and recognize them on my path and journey of spiritual and self growth.

So as of last night we will see if we are able to sustain the foundation of the friendship we have built. But I am not sure he will even be able to do that anymore, and that is ok too.

posted in Love Cursed - 0 replies

Cross this one off your list

toesup — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 00:58:33 GMT

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/americas/06/14/canada.ban.ap/index.html

Is your 2010 diary still have some dates free?

posted in Love Cursed - 4 replies

Am I over reacting?

gigi-d — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 15:50:59 GMT

Hello my LC family... I know I am not around allot lately. As you may or may not recall a year and a half ago plus, I met a man and we have been together since. For the most part he is great he loves me that I am sure of and we have a nice level of comfort. We have been living together for a year.
However there is one thing that is increasingly building up resentment for me. He is still married. He has not seen his wife in 9 years, apparently it was rather bad she tried killing him twice and was a stripper with a drug problem. He left he in Okalahoma but does know where she is so he could easily file if he wanted to. In fact he has all the paperwork mostly filled out. Why he wont do it I have no idea.

Its not that I want him to marry me, its a combination of I don't want to be the "other woman" and also that I feel it reflects on his maturity and willingness to take care of himself and what needs to be done. In a nutshell.. do I want to be with a 35yr old man who can't get his shit together? And in reality this is not the only area his shit is not together in.. he own 3 people significant amounts of money has promised them all to pay them back in payments and has never done so. He was so unreliable with paying me his portion of the rent that I made him do direct deposit... at least that’s no problem now. He does not help around the house unless I break down and yell at him other wise he will let his laundry pile up for months ( am not exaggerating he did not do his laundry from January to May) no matter how much I complain tell him its gross he refuses to do anything but play video games or watch TV.... he does a half assed job of dishes, if I get pissed at him. In a nutshell I am stuck living in a pig pen because I can't keep up with his messes. I think anyone thing alone I could deal with in combination I am questioning my sanity in a future together.... I feel like I have another teenager in the house and its frustrating.
The hard part is in public or with friends on trips he is great.. I wish I could keep that guy all the time. We get home it goes down hill... he says I am too uptight because I am always cleaning.. I tell him dishes needs to be done regardless. I am not a neat freak; I am a clutter bug so I don't get how I can be too uptight.
I just feel like his view on life is its all about him. I try to give him space to chill and unwind I know men need down time and that s fine.. But for him its all about his time. Perfect example last night he comes home from work he bough a new video game sits down in the living room and starts playing it at about 5:30. I though ok well he wants to chill fine he knows I hate video games so any time he puts them on he knows it will shoo me away.. I go to the bedroom figure that’s ok I will relax and watch a TV show or 2 or read and when he feels like talking to me or hanging out he will get me..... long story short that never happened. He never came and talked to me or wanted to spend time with me when at 12:30pm I came out and said I was going to bed and let him know it pissed me off that he did this again he just told me to leave him alone and shut up. He came to bed at about 1:30.

I am torn it sucks to love some one when your starting to realize nothing is going to change. He has promised me twice he was going to get a divorce... and has yet to do so. On NYE he told me it was his new years resolution to get a divorce this year... I keep telling myself the year is not over but seriously am I just fooling myself? I want to buy a house he keeps saying he wants to buy one together but I will not buy a house with someone who is married to someone else... I would be stupid to do so. So in the end if I do get a house it will likely be too small for my needs and his. Sometimes I think his lack of action is a passive way of pushing me and every other woman he’s been with away.

maybe I am just venting, but I really feel so torn inside.

posted in Love Cursed - 25 replies

Now THATS rejection!

toesup — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 04:38:59 GMT

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/4253849.stm

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

posted in Love Cursed - 3 replies

Intermedeate dating quandry

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 21:22:19 GMT

I have been dating a woman for the last couple months. I really like her- we have a good connection, we enjoy doing things together, have a good flow of energy between us. Typically of me I am either interested or not within a few weeks of dating someone. But despite our many commonalities this woman is not like me in this regard. She likes me (she says) but is still interested in dating other people... I am not..

Recently a friend of mine emailed me a personal add saying "isnt this the woman you are seeing?" , and in fact it is. Now she never said that she wasnt dating but I feel injured by the fact that she is actively seeking another partner- as opposed to being open to meeting people I guess. Seeing the add made me feel as if i am a stand in for someone better, brighter, better educated and mre artistic I suppose. Not that she is trying to make me feel this way, but that is my response to seeing that add. I feel like we could have a real relationship, but obviously my feelings are not being returned.

The question is- what next? Do Iend the relationship to prevent emotional injury? Do I start dating as well to protect the distance between us? Do I confront her? Do I ignore it all and let it slide?

I would say that in most cases after a couple months, I would object to this- but I do really like her and see a possible future. How do I determine if this possible future is not feasable and move on, or whether I should believe in this possibility and allow her to come to this realization (or not) on her own?

posted in Love Cursed - 8 replies

What attracts you?

toesup — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 15:57:25 GMT

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6444851.stm

So what attracts you to the opposite (or same) sex?...

posted in Love Cursed - 24 replies

still love cursed

jenna — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 20:49:03 GMT

Tell me why I can walk into a crowded room full of beautiful women, and all of the mens eyes are on me,
yet the one guy I am interested in, is the only one not paying attention to me. And I can never do anything about it.

posted in Love Cursed - 31 replies

I have to do it

danigrrl — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 19:36:17 GMT

I'm sorry you guys, I just know what I want and what I can handle and tonight I am breaking up with my fiance.

He fulfills so many things for me, but the two he can't are too big. I find myself worrying or crying all the time though we never have a cross word between us. He tells me I'm beautiful and he loves me in his own special way, but he chooses everyone over me. Likes to save me for the end of the day, he says.

I have realized there are two things I know I cannot handle now; I cannot handle not being a priority and I cannot tolerate intellectual/emotional infidelity. What I mean by this is I expect to be someone's main person they philosophize with, run things by and confide in.

And my man has an ex and he splits his day up between giving those things to her and then giving them to me. Some say, well at least he does give them but I sit around during free moments and think, he should be available to me right now and be waiting for one of us to call the other.

posted in Love Cursed - 11 replies

one of our tribe members is no longer with us~ in loving memory

lovecursed — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 20:44:31 GMT

i found out this afternoon that jared, or fuckerpants as we knew him here passed away on sunday.
his tribe profile and obituary are here: http://people.tribe.net/pantsy
jared was one of the first members here at love cursed, and i will always remember him for the way he brought humor into even the most depressing of threads. and of course, his hot pink feather boa...
he was also a composer. he sent me one of his CD's a few years ago... he was very talented.
it makes me sad that he is gone... rest in peace brother.
<3

posted in Love Cursed - 13 replies

I have everything and I'm angry

danigrrl — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 15:57:02 GMT

How is that for cursed?

My fiance is around at the exact times I have to spend with him. He lives with me and I am a teacher and I get to get off at 2 come home at 3 and spend either 5 hours with my kids, or on alternate weeks alone working on projects for work (like a lit mag). On weekends he has church with his kids (at a Spanish Mass) and I have Mass with mine. All other hours I have available to give him undivided attention, he's there.

Sounds perfect, right?

I've never felt a love like this, and for awhile, neither had he.

But there's a problem. His ex is a psycho. I mean... meglomaniac. I mean she is an expert at manipulation to the point of she knows who to be sticky sweet with and who responds to anger and abuse.

My ex responds to anger and abuse...the opposite of what I give and what I respond to. I respond to kindness, and hard working people...so she's put together a diatribe that makes me WANT to like her. Except she's pathalogical. She's brilliant, really. She is so brilliant I am utterly convinced that she is changing his opinion of me and has already changed her kids opinions of me. See in those five hours I don't see him, he's doing a list of things she signed up for during his time with them. In order to deal with all those appointments, she calls him constantly. I know she does not want him, but that IF another person ever wants his attention, she WILL spend all of her minutes plotting to undo it. It's a game to her.

I'm going about my life and it's wonderful. I'm so happy and proud of my accomplishments and I have something fulfilling to do every minute I'm away from him. Every minute I'm with him is peaceful and wonderful and he treats me like a princess and he will literally have sex with me any time I ask. But I feel like her poison is slipping into him and he's starting to slip away.

I am not going to fight htis woman, she's too powerful for me. And I will not give up yet.
what do you guys think?

posted in Love Cursed - 10 replies

Is that the way to do it?

toesup — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 19:25:00 GMT

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSL1619174120070416?feedType=RSS

Is it fair... or fowl...

posted in Love Cursed - 3 replies

single jingle

twilightening — Sun, 08 Apr 2007 17:57:42 GMT

I just broke up with a guy after three years of "sort of" girlfirend treatment.
And I actually for the first time don't feel guilty about taking my power back and celebrating my liberation from relationship!
I think the curse is shaking off!
knocking wood*
or at least i am able to accept more easily that the curse is here to stay and i am just dealing with it better.
woo hoo!

posted in Love Cursed - 9 replies

Scared!

CatherinetheGreat — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 20:14:38 GMT

I think I'm in love. That's not supposed to happen. There's not supposed to be anybody right for me, or perfect or wonderful, especially when I'm over the hill. I'm 40 and just spent the most wonderful 3 days with someone who can't exist. We have too much in common. We can't stop talking to eachother. He used the "L" word. He even mentioned the "M" word. Even more amazing, he has apparently already explained to his parents that he wants to be childfree (something I would really like in a man, but could barely hope for). I'm scared to death. L? M? CF, too? It's like a mirage in the desert. If I run up to it, will it disappear?

posted in Love Cursed - 13 replies